Two Improv Phrases That Change the Conversation

What if we began the year believing in abundance rather than scarcity?

What if we felt confident that we could attract the volunteers and donors our organization requires to meet the community’s needs? What if we expected great things to happen? What if we really believed that we could improve the world?

Notice what happened as you read those questions. Did you feel your shoulders relaxing? Did you feel curious? Did you find these questions opening you up to new ideas? That’s the quiet power of a well-placed question: it can change your outlook, shift the tone in the room, and unlock new potential.

I’ve spoken before about the power of the right question, but I was recently reminded that language can either limit us or invite us to something bigger. Two simple phrases have been especially powerful to me as I think about starting a new year with an abundance mindset: “Yes, and…” and “What if…?”

The Power of a Well-Used Phrase

I was recently invited to participate in an improv training led by my brilliant Capital Campaign Pro colleagues, Dedee Wilner-Nugent and Andrea Kihlstedt. Now, if you know me even a little bit, you can imagine that I have absolutely no desire to participate in improv. I don’t like to be the center of attention. I don’t like group work. Improv is not my jam.

But, because I trust Dedee and Andrea, I decided to give it a whirl. And I’m so glad I did!

You’re probably familiar with one of improv’s most familiar phrase: “Yes, and….” This powerful one-two punch allows us to both affirm the person who spoke before us, then add our own contribution. As Dedee taught us, “Yes” can mean:

• You note/recognize (neutral): “Yes, you do.”

• You mirror/echo (relatability): “Yes, me too.”

• You validate/affirm (positive): “Yes, it’s ok.”

We could have stopped the improv training session right there! This is solid gold. It works with family, friends, clients, colleagues, board members, and volunteers.

Then comes “and.” This little three-letter word opens up a world of possibilities. You can take the conversation anywhere you need it to go:

• You celebrate: “And…that’s great!”

• You connect/add: “And…also…”

• You invite/ask: “And…what if…?”

• You direct/sequence: “And…then…”

Think about how valuable it is—especially in nonprofit leadership—to start with a “yes” and move intentionally into an “and.”

1. “Yes, I hear what you’re saying. And I appreciate you being bold enough to bring this to the group’s attention.”

2. “Yes, I feel that way too. And I’m wondering… where we go from here?”

There’s also power in a strategic pause between the “yes” and “and.” Sometimes the pause is where trust grows, as your listener takes in the fact that you have really heard and affirmed them. That pause creates just enough space for people to stay open to whatever comes next.

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com M on Unsplash

The Power of the Right Question

If “Yes, and…” helps us respond differently in the moment, “What if…?” helps us think differently about the future.

“What if…?” opens us up to curiosity and creativity. Both the asker and the listener are freed from the constraints of how the conversation has always gone and invited to explore new directions together. “What if…” allows us to reframe challenges and look at them in a radically different light.

Lately, I find myself saying things like:

• What if our assumptions are false?

• What if we looked for new partners to bring fresh expertise and resources?

• What if we held listening and creativity sessions with our stakeholders to find new ways to think about this challenge?

• What if we freed ourselves from “logic” and spent 15 minutes dreaming big, wild ideas?

Perhaps the reason I especially enjoy the phrase “What if…?” is because it’s part of my Appreciative Inquiry toolkit. For years now, I’ve seen how this approach can reduce the tension in a room, unlock creativity, foster collaboration, and bring fresh energy to the issue at hand.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Start the Year with Abundance

As we start a new year, these two phrases feel like simple, practical ways to choose abundance over scarcity in our conversations.

• “Yes, and…” helps us affirm people and build on their ideas.

• “What if…” helps us imagine new possibilities and pathways forward.

Consider putting Post-it notes on your computer or in your meeting notebook that say, “What if…?” and “Yes, and…” When you feel frustration rising in a conversation, try using one of these tactics to create space for everyone to be more creative, more hopeful, and more fulfilled with the outcome.

What if this year, one conversation at a time, we practiced abundance together?